“I don’t want to be your employee”: Boyfriend demands share of girlfriend’s equity or else he’s leaving her, she calls his bluff and refuses to budge

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  • 01

    AITH for not giving my boyfriend equity in my home?

    $2.000 00025 HB555770000 111
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    We have been together 7 years. We have some passive income (we built together) that we share to pay all our bills & split the profit. I work and he does not. He just lives off of the passive income.
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    I have been saving the extra money I made from working. He has not saved. His reason for not saving is "he spends it on us." We both spend our income on us.
  • 04
    I bought a home with a friend recently. We both paid all cash for it since I didn't get a loan. Yes, my boyfriend helped me with the process of negotiating etc. he did not put any cash into it.
  • 05
    I plan to Airbnb the new property. He gets to stay there for free AND I'm going to split the new rental income with him.
  • 06
    The house needs work + renovations. Painting, cleaning etc. he started to help me with it then said "why am I making you richer without equity" So I said, "don't worry, you don't have to do the work." Then I also said "I could possibly pay you for the time?"
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    He said "I don't want to be your employee and am insulted" "I thought we were building a life together"
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    So, now he is demanding half of my share (25%) or he's going to leave me. I said I want to stay together, I love him, we can buy a place in the future together if we both save. But, no, I won't give him a percentage. He said he's leaving. AITA??
  • 10
    Worried_Suit4820 • 14h ago Call his bluff. When he doesn't leave, throw him out.
  • 11
    III-Investment-18... • 15h ago Bye bye boyfriend. Don't let the door (that you didn't pay for) hit your way out. on the
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    Cute-Profession9... • 15h ago Let me guess, you spearheaded the investments that he passively lives off of...?
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    BeachinLife1 . 14h ago Good grief, let him go. You'll be just fine without him. He's the one who will have to live on his half of the shared "passive income," whatever that is. Trust me, he needs you more than you need him. Do NOT give him
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    one dime of your equity OR of your half of the rental. In fact, I would find a way to separate the "shared passive income" and tell him he's on his own.
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    IllustriousEnd2055 • 14h ago Listen, you love him but this will be a constant battle with him. He will guilt and manipulate you to get YOUR money because he doesn't want to work.
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    He has shown you how he views your relationship - as transactional, and he's willing to leave you over money he hasn't earned. I'm sorry, but helping reno a property isn't worth 25% equity. Offer him cash for his work at a reasonable rate. Otherwise, it will be cheaper in the long run to just pay a third-party.
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    Whatever you do, do not give him 25% equity and do not put his name on the deed. You and your friend need to stay in control of this property because he will potentially veto anything you want to do, including sell it. And you certainly shouldn't give him half the income.
  • 19
    Duckr74 14h ago . Let him leave than. Keep us Updateme!
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    PortableAlexis 15h ago No, he's taking advantage of you financially. He's not responsible with his money already. You need to dump him.
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    Consistent-Tip-7... • 14h ago Unless you are married (and even then, it's a toss up) NEVER share title to ANYTHING, regardless of the contribution. I counsel young people on finances.
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    Difficult-Signal4... 15h ago NTA, Your money, your house and Your income. He is just greedy, and why do u plan on giving him a part of the rent from your house?
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    forgetregret1day • 15h ago If he wants equity, he has to put up money. That's just common sense. The tiny big of "sweat equity" you're asking for is hardly enough to qualify as being owed a portion of the property. He doesn't have a job, just coasts off the passive
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    income too? What exactly does he bring to this partnership? If his reaction to not being given yet more credit for doing nothing is to leave, call his bluff. That's a huge overreaction to not getting his way without actual investment. Money and relationships don't mix
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    and if one is contingent on the other, you're getting screwed. NTA.

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